Paradox

I don’t want you but I do
I want another one but you
This one should be you
That’s why I don’t know what to do
I’m set to a paradox

I’m frozen but I feel you
Far when I’m close to you
I’m okay but I contradict
To you I’m such an addict
You set me to a paradox

I didn’t search but I found you
I’m blind but I can see you
I’m quite here but right there
Paralyzed but moving everywhere
You set me to a paradox

I’m sane but I’m gone crazy
I’m faking but I’m being me
I’m slow but I’m running to you
I hate you but I love you
You set me to a paradox

 

Like Everybody

You’re a simple boy

A kid with a toy

You watch cartoon

You dream in moon

You go to school

You date girls and you play the fool

Somebody break your heart

And you cannot sleep at night

You pretend not to cry

You seal it with a perfect smile

“Say guys out there!

Take a picture of me

Don’t wonder, don’t stare

I’m just like everybody

You’re a silly boy

Sorry, you annoy

You try random names

You play stupid games

You win, you lose

You tell some jokes

At the end you’re alone

With some numbers in your phone

Everybody lie to you

And yes you can do the same thing too

You seem like you believe

But you go back to your fantasy

“Say guys out there!

Let’s have fun you and me

Don’t act like you don’t care

I’m just like everybody”

“Say I love and I hate

What I live but I’ll die

It’s not too late

For me to fly

I’m good but it’s bad;

I seem happy when I’m sad

And so weak. I’m strong

When I’m right or wrong

Don’t you know that I’m a superstar?

But I’m not that famous

And I’ve been the king of the world so far

Isn’t it ridiculous?

Think I’m crazy?

I don’t even have enough money

I’m neither poor nor rich

I’m in a level you can’t reach

I love what I got

I believe in God

I don’t wish you meet people like I knew

I’m not here to explain what I’ve been through

And whenever you’ll be judging me

I’ll keep on saying I’m just like everybody”

Aphasia

Hush ! Crush ! Rush !
I see you…A trouble
I lost it all, I lost control
Can’t focus on what your sweet mouth was saying
I try to slow my heart down after all, but
Those burning eyes, burning “I”, burn in “Ai!”
Killing smile, terrorizing body
Would you share an apple with me?
See how you’re disturbing my mind?
Tip of my tongue, oh your tongue
Speak my heart, speak so hard
Draw a dream, work of art…damn you’re hot
Love is like rain
Wets the brain
And here something else will last wet…
Can’t neither remember what I just felt
Nor distinguish twink my right and my left
Everything in me in suffering
You’re next to me, I’m flying, yes I’m frying*
My A B C listen and see
The way I’m one, three, six, es, eh, ex
B, boiling blood
Feel me, free me, fill me, sweat flood
Adrenalin
Trembling
Get closer we may understand more
Fix up my language
Let’s get more knowledge
You screwed up all my memory
You’re Alzheimer
And I’m in hysteria
Your smell plus the fever
Amnesia, your lips and neck, aphasia
I hate you I don’t know
Psychology
Blah blah blah
Biology!...
Cut the drama!
Behave love, act it extremely
And how much you need me, ma, emm
No strategy, go in
A tragedy
Slave and so much saliva
Bad how, to resist to this tornado?
That male me dose my words
…No breath.
I yant wou now! 

RAWLOVED*

First look since few days, and the rush of snatching your soul and your body is growing more like a fired up bull of tiny hungry angels...the raw, love feeling...

Still can't find those flawless terms that reflects the beauty of your pure being to speak them down here on my facebook wall, I knew how much green eyes would say, lie and pretend passion but when I saw yours it's just...not like that, honesty is the title, sensuality is the theme, and raw love is what I feel right now, full stop, hold on a second, I didn't realise some of my dreams, soon I won't be alone in the garden I told you about, because all you will sit by my side under the tree, then...nothing but the warmth of your body, I pull your hair and I hear your heart beats and I must share chocolate and coverlet with you, and a movie at the cinema and zoo as you promised, and everything... :(

and P S : next time when one of us will bring the food from you know where I won't wait the rest of my life for you to look at me in the eyes...I was taken by the romantic sweet music of Metalica...I need that moment back....it's raw,ffff it's love...you're love

unexplicablly it must be you ♥
Lotfy Angel

Witness! Soul Of Snail

Witness! Soul Of Snail

I'm a murderer! Yes I'm a snail assassin. I didn't mean to kill you; I didn't mean to crush you, ouch! I wish I could save you and get you back to the herbs in where your asylum is shoke by the wind and revived by cold rain diamonds. I know you're too lazy and I know you're too slow incredible and sticky but you had always been my favorite living toy since I was five... so witness baby snail.

You have an artistic shell but it's so breakable, you tried to cross the road but you passed away in the middle, and I believe your innocent soul still hovering in the garden of my love fantasy just like a drunk helicopter...now witness my prayer to the eternal lord, witness the birth of those pearls escaping from my mouth, my male and my veins and the peaceful way it's sent to my lover from the satellite, chilling Jesus of my lover’s neckless, witness the screaming of the jinn living in the thin body of the brown cat which may wish to have sex with me, but no way,not with a cat. Witness! And go then come back to witness, witness soul of snail and hear well how my rawloved is singing sweet Je Suis Malade of Charles Aznavour. Witness! The insane devotion of my heart and my “Safa and Marwa” that Muslims do in Mekka each year. All that is played in the theater of the garden of my rainbowed love fantasy. Soul of snail Y U NO WITNIS? You're a good boy and you obey, so go to my baby and tell my baby to come to me, I need my baby beside me in the garden of my love fantasy.

When you’ll come back I’ll give you a loly pop candy then you can fly away to the paradise of snails and chocolate lovers and condom (préservatif) players and cats and dogs and angels and cute snails and beautiful ugly snails and devils and Gaga snails and Zion snails and all; just go and bring me all what I need, all what I need is my one and only baby.

(The Cat, The tree, The garden, me, The destroyed house of the snail , My Samsung and the voice of my Rawloved*) 

                Lotfy Angel

 

Words I Am

I’ve never found the perfect words to write down neither my true chaotic entity’s dimension nor my heart attacks, and I won’t…
Never found appropriate ones to tell somebody or at least myself…words that define my perspective about this world that I don’t even know and I don’t want to. Words that confess the silent way I’ve been through those “loud” years I lived. God knows the depth and the sight.

I say “chaos…knives’ stabs…faces collectors…escapes…chained tears…love wonderland…religion’s truth…fun or mom who lived the hell just for me and sister to survive…the many times I faced death because I don’t know why…dances through the wind and rolling in the greenness that still make me feel comfortable. The piece of bread and cheese is enough…they had those burning words but I made mistakes that I definitely learnt from and I’m thinking of making few more”. Yes! the mistake has been my dream of a colorful sky were I’d have my little brother Isaak whom I learn how to swim and to ride a bike and when he comes back from school, I’d be the one whom he’d hug tight before mama. That would be me, another one more though and unseen…then I go back to that desperate fight with my eyes shut.

I’m proud of every single big, small, rough, fake, teasing, loving, disturbing, dramatic, choking, funny, happy, sad, said and mysterious word that made me none and everything of that, and I’m grateful that my heart still beats, louder and faster than he’d never beaten before!, and I’ll keep on being as real as I’m meant to be.
  Lotfy Angel

 

 

Green Eyes Said It All

Today I’ve been walking into a shiny crowd

Watching your face coming slow made me lose focus

I noticed that magical spark into your eyes and I found,

Your foot steps were a prove and your talk was a bonus

Narrate the chapters of your epic story

Then remember, guess and think carefully

Act and react just to seduce me smoothly

When I pretend to believe what you’re telling me

You’re nice, you’re fine, you’re bright

You’re so pretty, you’re funny and all

Tell a thousand lies I never mind

Baby those green eyes said it all

Today I’ve talking to a dangerous angel

I forgot all my troubles and I let everything down

All the good things you told and did were so evil

Bittersweet though here’s my love crown

Narrate the chapters of your dramatic story

Then remember, guess and think carefully

How you saved lives, you’re broken, you love perfectly

When I pretend to believe what you’re telling me

You’re so sweet; you’re one of a kind

You’re smart and somehow unusual

But I would add that you’re so shy

Baby those green eyes said it all